The vast majority of the population can gamble responsibly, something I fail to do so. I’ve accepted I’m powerless over gambling. My life is now based around re-building and trying my best to put the past behind me and improve the decisions I make on a daily basis.
As I’ve mentioned, I turned into a horrible human being. I had one purpose in life and that was to gamble. This affected how I would be around people and how I chose to spend my time.
I stole from people, I created arguments with my loved ones and I would never offer support to others who were struggling.
A lot of the character defects I developed whilst gambling are still within me and I’m working on fixing them. Recovering from a gambling addiction is a process and can’t be solved with medication.
Since that evening in 2016, when I decided I needed to change my life, I have encountered so much positivity. The support network that I’m surrounded by has been an instrumental part in this change.
I no longer live with mountains worth of debt, I no longer lie to other people as to where I am and I no longer think the world revolves around me.
In February this year, I suffered a huge setback and found myself in a bookie with a large sum of cash playing Roulette. After over two years without a bet, I buckled and fell back into the addiction’s possession. I craved seeing the wheel spin, “just one more time”. To eradicate something that was a significant part of my youth was difficult and on this occasion, I gave in.
I will never say that I won’t gamble again but what I do tell myself, each and every day, is how much of a better person I am without it in my life.
Although I‘m not proud of my past, I find a lot of comfort in sharing my story with others and I hope over the last week I’ve been able to provide some insight to people who may be worried that their gambling is becoming irresponsible.
